On Love

So I'm in love now, which I barely believed was possible even one year ago.
I thought that an overflow of emotion on this scale was impossible for me at this stage of my life, even though I have read biographies in which men who were much older and less vulnerable than I have fallen to such things.
It definitely isn't a choice. It was almost totally random. I never believed that I would find a woman who is totally compatible with me on so many levels. I never thought that a woman could warm my soul the way she warms me.
But it's impossible. I think that she is deeply committed to her boyfriend.
Although I have spoken to her in the past, we only exchanged pleasant looks last night, and I avoided talking to her because I know where this situation is headed. I have experienced it so many times with women with whom I wasn't even in love.
During the last several years I have dated only actresses who have approached ME because I am so protective of my heart at this stage of the game.
But again, I KNOW that this woman has a boyfriend, yet I can't prevent myself from falling more deeply and madly in love with her.
As I came to terms with this reality, I was in so much pain last night I couldn't believe it.

So I'm a fucking idiot.