A New Year's Eve show that I attended at the Comedy Store during the final hour of 2018 was probably the best New Year party that I ever experienced. The band Portugal. the Man was sitting directly in front of me. To my immediate left, comedian Steven Brody (AKA "Steven Brody Stevens") was drumming with drumsticks on a Store table as he watched the show with me. I had seen Steven as a near-permanent fixture around The Store since I began my comedy "career" during 2010. If I didn't see him in the parking lot I saw him hanging out at the front or in the hallways. He was nearly ubiquitous there. I had often seen him during the nadir of his career in 2011 when he had a complete mental breakdown, and Comedy Central subsequently canceled his show. His facial expression was often grim during that time, but I saw none of that mood during that night. I think that he was in great spirits.
He committed suicide less than two months later.
In some ways, he was a larger than life figure who just happened to be an everyman. He acted in scenes with Robert Downey, Jr. and Zach Galifianakis. He was even one of Zach's closest friends. He opened for David Spade on the road. As you can see now on Twitter, some of the most famous names in comedy including Joe Rogan, Patton Oswalt and Bill Burr loved him. Yet he was always there amongst "the little people." To me, he was simultaneously accessible and aloof. I know that if any comics read this post they will probably scoff, but it's 100% true: he seemed nervous during the few times I talked to him. He seemed fearless onstage, but to me it was a bit illusory because he retreated to pat material, which usually consisted of half-truths and fictional stories. When I paid to watch him headline at a club in Burbank years ago, he made a controversial statement that I will not repeat here, then he stared at me in silence for a few seconds. I probably had an expectant look on my face of "yes, go on." He did not. He turned away from me then did another one of his standard jokey-jokes.
Therein lies another tragedy: during the last several weeks of his life he seemed to be getting closer to being real onstage. He streamed a long Store set on Periscope that was surprisingly candid to me. After the set he asked his followers if he should save it or delete it. He deleted it regardless of the unanimous "keep it" response. He said something like, "I don't want people to see me that way." So he was imprisoned by a character to the end.
Also, toward the end, he seemed to request more and more validation from his Periscope followers after each of his recorded sets. I will write this statement as a man who majored in psychology, not a bullshit artist who has 20/20 hindsight: it was disturbing for me to watch a comic who has performed on stages for twenty-five years seek approval for each set from an audience of people who were predisposed to praise him even if he just took a shit onstage then returned to his phone. So a few weeks ago, toward the end of one of his Periscopes, I wrote, "Brody, no offense-- you did well, but individual sets matter little. Movies, Netflix, etc." I had a character limit, so I could not clarify the statement. Before I could add onto the statement with, "please try to gather your confidence and contact Todd Phillips (a friend who previously hinted that he might have work for him) and/or Zach"-- you know, sane, practical advice for a guy who constantly complained that he was running out of money-- one of his moderators muted me. If you watch that particular broadcast you will see him glare at the screen and repeat several times, "'NO OFFENSE-- YOU DID WELL!?!?!'" then launch into a rant of "THERE MIGHT BE INDUSTRY IN THAT CROWD. THEY SEE ME THEN GIVE WORK TO ME. GET IT?!"
To this day, I'm resentful that I could not clarify the statement, but frankly it's entirely possible that he was so far gone that he would have taken offense anyway. During those moments he struck me as someone who was almost as insecure and fearful as his darkest days during 2011, so maybe I should have foreseen this thing. But goddamn, it hurts like hell anyway.
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