Hollywood Remakes

So Hollywood has made "The A-Team" in a cinematic version and remade "The Karate Kid" (poorly) and it is planning to remake some of the favorite movies of my childhood: Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter is Dead, Back to School, and perhaps unforgivably, Real Genius.

You might say, "Michael, you work there. Surely you are familiar with why they remake good films that should not be remade. Why is Hollywood going retro?"
And I would answer, "Shut the fuck up. Stop being so presumptuous." But yes, I actually know why they are mining the '80s vaults.
Two words: it's safe. It's the same reason why they are making so many cinematic comic franchises. It's bankable. Potential audiences are familiar with comic characters and themes, and they are familiar with classic '80s characters and themes. The kids of yesteryear are today's cash cow adults. In this severely deflated economy, Hollywood is especially timid -- it wants to minimize the risk of alienating those adults via risks and maximize its profits with proven successes.
It's really that simple.